Dear Hockey Fan Friends: The Rules

Playoffs are upon us, my Vancouver friends.

This means you will probably be tweeting a lot during hockey games. This is fine, but sometimes it gets to be a bit much as I do not care for hockey. In an effort to entertain myself, I will be tweeting you a single fact about basketball (my sport of choice) for every hockey tweet I see.

These are the rules to keep everything on the up and up (and please feel free to hold me to these):

1. I will not be hunting down hockey tweets from you to respond to and in the event that you have tweeted multiple hockey related tweets during a period of time in which I have not checked my feed, I will only send one response.

2. The tweets must reference hockey, a team, or something related for me to reply. I won’t be wasting delicious basketball knowledge on “FUCK YEAAHHHS” and “Woooos”

3. Retweets of hockey related things do count, but will get you a retweet of a basketball related tweet.

4. You are welcome to send me a single hockey fact for any basketball related tweets I produce. These tweets will not prompt a response (though they may make me chuckle and feel informed).

5. If you tweet about basketball, I am honor-bound to send YOU a single hockey fact. However, your tweet must meet the following criteria:

  • It must reference an NBA game that is currently being played (as I will likely only be responding to your NHL live-tweeting) to prove that you are in fact watching basketball.
  • The tweet must do better than just present facts you can find on the nba.com play-by-plays
  • The tweet must be sent out to all of your followers and not just @me
  • If you include a screenshot of the game you are watching/tweeting about, I will send you a picture of me doing a hockey thing along with the hockey fact.
  • If you live tweet two whole games of NBA basketball (at least 10 tweets per game), with appropriate hashtags, and one piece of photographic proof for each game, I will cheer the Canucks (or your team of choice) on for at least one full series and spend a day wearing a Canucks’ (or your team of choice’s)  jersey (you must provide the jersey).

I don’t want or expect you to tweet less about the Canucks, or hockey. I understand sports fandom and think it is awesome. I am simply aiming to entertain myself (and hopefully you) during a trying time for a non-hockey fan.

Let the games, metaphorically and literally, begin.